Many people in our society lack of confidence. And that is understandable. We live in a world in which folks are more apt to criticize than to pay a compliment. Even in the news, 99% of the stories are about what some politician, celebrity or businessperson has done incorrectly, rather than what that person has done well. We live in a highly critical world.
The Value of Confidence
While being confident in today’s world is hard, you still need to work at being confident. That is because confidence is necessary to accomplish any goal. Without it, you won’t have the mental fortitude to withstand the criticism and failures that inevitably occur on the path to success.
Confidence also helps us to be happier. It is hard to be a happy person when you are insecure. When you are insecure, the smallest negative comment can throw your whole day off. Confidence is like a shield that protects us from the occasional silly comments of other people.
But how do we develop our confidence? The simplest way to build confidence is to increase your skills. Knowing how to do certain things well is a massive confidence booster. This is a simple formula, but it works.
Below are some skills that you can teach yourself, and in doing so, you’ll feel all the more accomplished and confident!
Become a Home Repair Guru
Thanks to the Internet, we all can figure out home repair. For instance, many years ago, my toilet broke. I didn’t have much experience with repairing toilets, but I was determined to fix it myself. And between a long chat with a Home Depot salesperson and a YouTube video, I was able to do just that.
I’ve been living off the confidence boost of that toilet-fixing accomplishment for a while now! Once I fixed the toilet, I figured there wasn’t much that I couldn’t do. Since that time, I’ve assembled a lot of furniture and fixed small appliances. These days, with the help of an instruction manual or video, I am not afraid to take something apart, repair it, and put it back together again.
There are few things worse than being at the mercy of repair people for minor issues. By knowing how things work and knowing how to fix them, you can confidently feel like you are in charge of your own home.
Learn Another Language
I will admit that you can travel the world and get away with only speaking English. But why do that? It is a wonderful feeling to travel to another country and be able to speak with people in their native tongue.
In today’s world, you don’t even need to sign up for a college class to learn another language. There are books, online videos and apps (Duolingo!) which can give you the tools to teach yourself any language. All you have to do is make language learning part of your daily routine.
Not only is learning another language good for your brain (studies show that it protects against Alzheimer’s), but it provides an incredible feeling of accomplishment. It builds confidence to know that you have another language in your arsenal of skills that can be used either for business or purely for pleasure.
Improve Your Cooking Skills
Everyone should know how to cook. It’s a basic life skill. But so many people struggle in the kitchen because they weren’t taught how to cook while growing up. Worse yet, there are lots of 5-star reviewed recipes on the Internet that simply are inedible. So, trying to learn how to cook can be frustrating.
But learning how to cook is a conquerable skill. You simply have to know where to start. Begin with recipes from reliable authors like Ina Garten and Giada De Laurentiis. They both create recipes that you can count on to turn out well. Epicurious.com is a wonderful website with terrific recipes. When I first learned how to cook, that website was my go-to for all dishes.
Once you have a good recipe, buy good quality ingredients, and follow the directions in a slow, careful manner. Then, as you become more comfortable with cooking, you will be able to see when a recipe makes sense, and when it doesn’t. You will also be able to “fix” recipes that have omitted a step like sifting or extra sautéeing.
Another good approach is to find recipes on the Internet with a video showing a chef preparing the recipe from beginning to end. My daughter is learning to cook, and she is careful to find recipes which either have a video or photos of every step of the recipe. She is becoming quite a good cook, as a result!
Once you become adept at cooking, you then can feel confident to have people over for dinner. You can proudly bring items to your office potluck. By knowing how to cook, you can show publicly how capable you are in a way that impresses people and (more importantly) feeds them. And that feels great.
Know How to Dress for Any Occasion
Not knowing how to dress for work or special occasions is stressful. If we don’t know how to dress correctly, then we can’t enter those situations feeling confident.
Some people know what to wear because they grew up with parents who were professionals. They observed their parents wearing the correct attire for all kinds of settings. But many people have not had those kind of role models. So, they have to figure it out for themselves.
For instance, my parents worked in academia. The college world is very flexible when it comes to attire. As a result, when I started working in a professional setting, I was lost. I wasn’t sure what to wear to work, so I quickly had to get up to speed by doing my research.
I started by observing what my supervisors wore. Then, I bought books on professional attire. I even took a class on professional hair and makeup. Believe it or not, the extensive research that I did 25 years ago still helps me today. I never worry about what to wear to any occasion. I have a solid sense of what is appropriate, and that allows me to go to any event with confidence.
Realize that you don’t need a lot of money to dress appropriately. I easily could put together a professional wardrobe from either Walmart or Target. The key is to pick traditional pieces in colors that suit your skin tone and that fit well (that are neither too tight nor too loose). That may sound boring, but if you want to be confident in the workplace, it best to dress in a conservative but stylish manner. Leave your fashion experiments for your free time!
Consider taking some time to boost to your confidence by increasing your skills. The benefit of the Internet and bookstores is that today there are few skills that are out of our reach. Boost your confidence by picking one of the above skills and really attack it. Try to master that skill over the next couple of months to a year. If you do, you’ll find that your confidence will grow exponentially! (To read about how to step out of your comfort zone, click here.)
No one goes through life unscathed. We all have experienced things that we wish we hadn’t. And we’ve all seen Read more
I used to think that the Buddhist theory of acceptance was a defeatist approach to life. The idea behind acceptance Read more
“The root of suffering is attachment.” – The Buddha The older I get, the more I understand the Buddha’s statement Read more
Dealing with change is hard. No one enjoys it. We are all creatures of habit, and we all would prefer Read more
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle We are our Read more
Our words matter. We think that they don’t. In fact, many of us believe in the old adage, “Sticks and Read more
There are a lot of articles and books about how to make good choices. Advice on that topic abounds. But Read more
Recently, I had the opportunity to chat with a nursery school teacher about the topic of inner beauty. She told Read more
